


Storyteller (Kuroshitsuji X Reader ("Kuroshitsuji Arc"))

by NicestPancake, your mom (2spooky4u)



Series: Storyteller (Complete Series) [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: A Little Bit Of Romancery, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BFF Charms Them Using Her Sweetness, But SHhhhhh, Canon Verse - Anime, Don't Assume All OCs Are Good, Gen, I Think I Created A New Tag, I just realised how many Kuro characters have 'L's somewhere in their names, I swear it's not as flooded as it sounds, Meaning You Can Use Them If You LIKE Them For Some Reason, Original characters ARE NOT DATING CANON CHARACTERS, PROTECC THE CHILD, Platonic Soulmates, Reader-Chan and Best-Friend-Chan are True Soulmates, Reader-Insert, Sort Of, THEY ARE BASICALLY SISTERS, The Divergence Is Slight Traces Of Manga Verse, True OCs - Not Specifically Designed For Kuroshitsuji, You Charm Them Using Wit, ahah, hmmmm, it's actually disturbing, not really - Freeform, only slightly tho, they're all my children
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-16 01:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14801810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicestPancake/pseuds/NicestPancake, https://archiveofourown.org/users/2spooky4u/pseuds/your%20mom
Summary: This is the story of a fangirl and her friends being sucked into some of her favourite shows and video games. However, it appears that her past and her future are intermingling as a result, and there's not much that can be done for her, it seems. Maybe, with what little power she has, she can save everything she holds dear, while saving other's homes as well.Dimension; Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler)





	1. Chapter One - The Chapter Where People Are Introduced

        Setting down a can of soup, I glance at my watch. Two hours until I must babysit Mrs. Kimsley’s children, who are the absolute worst children I have  _ever_  had to deal with. Sighing, I put the soup back into the cabinet. I just can't decide on what to eat for lunch. I browse the shelves, until I decide to just wait until I know what I want to eat. I sit on my bed and wonder when it would be appropriate for me to get an  _actual_ job.

        I lay on my back and ponder my life for a good hour, and then I get ready. I'm eighteen now, and school just got out... when are you supposed to apply for colleges and stuff- you know what, not now. Anyways, even though school just got out, it's snowing. Which is weird, but I can get over it. 

        I shove on a weird jacket-trench-coat thing, which has a plaid black-and-white pattern on it, over my usual simple clothing. Sighing, I shove everything I'll need into the black hole that I call my purse. This includes my phone, a pack of coloured pencils, a wind-up rechargeable flashlight, a knife I keep for security's sake, and a few other miscellaneous things I kept in my purse for no particular reason other than that they were there. I put on my purse and get ready to leave, shoving my favourite water bottle into my pocket, knowing that it sticks out a little.

        I wrap my {F/C} scarf around my neck and shout to my parent's room, "I'm babysitting now!"

        I don't get a response as I walk out into the snow-covered abyss of the outside. Closing the door behind me, I tread lightly on the snow, disturbing it as little as humanly possible. I always loved the look of fresh snow, it was the best part about winter. I shake off the feeling of dread snow typically give me and speed up my pace, wanting to make it there on time.

        I pass by Mrs. Vandrewheele's as her children make a snowman, despite the odds of the powdery snow. One of them throws a snowball and I try  ~~and fail~~  at making one to throw back. ' _Some battles just aren't worth fighting_.'

        When I finally reach my destination, I find that {BFF/N} was standing on the driveway, looking at the address. "Oh, hey there child, would you like to be let in to that stranger's home?" I say to her as I put my hand on her shoulder, scaring her.

        She recovers quickly though, because she immediately goes for a K.O. hug, her ultimate attack. "Okay {BFF/N}, I'm losing air..." she nearly jumps back, putting her hands up in a mock-surrender. Just as we get prepared to knock on the door, Mrs. Kimsley opens it. 

        "Oh, there you are, I was worried that I would have to leave them alone for a while, but it seems I'm covered. Kaelem, Tyler, play nice!" She then practically bolts for it, leaving us with the two  _monsters_  waiting for us inside.

* * *

        Sighing, {BFF/N} and I walk together to her house after that... regrettable affair.

        We chat for a while about the way they named 'caterpillar' and 'butterfly', but fail to notice that everything around us went silent. I space out after she starts talking about dragons though, because I don't really care much for them myself.  I look at the scenery of the forest that we're in  whilst paying minimal attention to her, when she extends out an arm, which does virtually nothing but break me out of my stupor. I look where she's looking and I see a tiny, silverish looking thing, embedded in one of the trees. Sighing, I dig it out. 

        "Oh hey, it's Sebastian's head butler pin thing!"

        "Yeah, though I believe it has a name, y'know, like they do with jewelry?"

        "They do that?"

        "Yeah, like Diamond Paragons, or the Hope Diamond, y'know, things like that."

        "Oh yeah, forgot about that."

        I fiddle with the old-fashioned pin-lock, only to end up poking myself. "Ow."

        "Are you okay?" {BFF/N} inspects the damage, which barely exists. It only  _barely_  drew blood. Suddenly it gets very windy. "I'll just put it into my backpack, okay?" {BFF/N} confirms quietly.  I never even noticed- okay it's becoming suspiciously windy now.

        {BFF/N} notices too and looks for signs of a tornado, but finds none. Suddenly, we're thrown into a tree, and that hurts, like a lot, but I hold on and grab her arm. Mmm... cliche movie scene or no...?

        Screw it. If I die, I'm going out saying it. I stare at the vortex that is causing all of this carnage, and yell at {BFF/N}, "HANG ON!"

        She rolls her eyes and screams, "WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?"

        "THAT VERY THING?"

        "EXA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" we scream as we're pulled into the vortex.

 

        This should be interesting.


	2. Chapter Two - The Chapter Where Our Protagonists Too-Innocent and Too-Smart BS Their Way Through Life Once Again, And It Works Somehow

        We land on a bed of soft, floppy, white flowers. I inspect them, and find that they glow a pale blue colour. "Well, this is normal," I observe smartly, and with zero sass, I assure you. {BFF/N} stirs, and when she awakes she freaks  _out_. We both check her bag to make sure everything remains, and then we look around. There's a bridge in front of us, and under it flows red water, or is it blood? Welp, I'm not going to check. The look on {BFF/N}'s face says she's not checking either.

        We cross the bridge and find on the other side is another island, this time, with dark purple flowers that glow purple. "Oh wow, this is very pretty," {BFF/N} remarks, "but how do we get out?"

        "Well, there's a button over there, and I'm sure only  _good_  could come from pressing it!"

        "Oh shush."

        After investigating further, we check around the area, only to find nothing of use. "Should we actually press the button, I mean, it seems to be the only option," {BFF/N} suggests, gesturing to the huge contract symbol on the floor, and then to the button.

        "Okay, fine, but one second." I reply as morbid curiosity takes over, and I touch the red water. Which is, in fact, blood. "Curiosity fulfilled, it is actually blood."

        {BFF/N} gets paler and clears her throat, "Well okay then, Mrs. Psychopath, what next?"

        "PRESS THE BUTTON KRONK!" {BFF/N} sighs and presses the button, shattering the contract-thingy beneath us.

        "WRONG BUTTONNNNNNNN." I scream as we fall into an empty void.

* * *

        "{Y/N}-"

        "{Y/N}, ... UP!"

        "{Y/N}, WAKE UP!" {BFF/N} screams at me and shakes me awake, succeeding at something that is very challenging- waking me. I sit up frantically, and look around. The first thing I see is the terribly uncreative colour green. Then I remember my glasses, and I search for them for a minute. {BFF/N} sighs and hands them to me. I put them on and then I am able to see everythinggggg... is  _anime_. 

        I then look at {BFF/N} and she's frightened, though for good reason. "So, where are we, exactly?"

        "{Y/N}, I'D'VE TOLD YOU IF I KNEW."

        "Fair enough."

        "HoW ARE OUY Not  _FREaKING OUT_?!"

        "I am, can't you see? I'm absolutely mortified."

        "Is that another death thing?"

        "{BFF/N}, I know you know what mortified means."

        "I've forgotten."

        "Oh, well no, it is a kind of embarrassment. Though I'm using it wrong in this context, it gets the point across."

        "... I wish my self-defense mechanism was to go emotionless. It'd help me out a lot."

        "Dude."

        "Right."

        "... Oh yeah, we've got another problem to solve."

        "Oh YEAH THAT'S RIGHT."

        Suddenly, we remembered that we have a goal, and we should really have better priorities in life than distract one another, yeah? I stand up and get a good scope of my surroundings, but I have trouble focusing on things, because everything is two dimensional. We appear to be in the middle of a forest, and, surprise, we had landed on flowers again. "Haha, what if this is a  _really_ crappy fanfic, wouldn't that be hilarious?" I say, laughing. From the corner of my eyes I see {BFF/N} roll hers. ' _Hmm, not yet._ ' 

        "You mean the type of crappy fanfics you usually indulge in?" She says, snarking back while rummaging though her backpack, making sure her stuff was fine.

        "RUde," I cross my arms and joke, "you know you're not supposed to call a fangirl out like that." I playfully frown and she finishes up.

        "So, where do we go?" She asks concerned.

        "Well, assuming we are in an anime- and I'm  _not_  saying we  _are-_  we can rule out RWBY, but that's about it considering nature is almost always the same in all of them, and it would be impossible to take each of them side-by side for examination," she nods, "so we'll just have to find a person, go from there, and hope we don't find a main along the way."

        "Okay, but where should we start?" {BFF/N} asks. I turn around for a minute and point, "THIS WAY!" I yell enthusiastically. I can  _hear_  her eyes rolling. ' _MMMmmm, not quite.'_

After about thirty minutes I stop and rest against a tree and {BFF/N} sits on the ground, playing with a piece of fabric. She looks up at me and questions, "Aren't you a bit warm in that coat, it's one thing to wear a jacket, but that's a heavy coat..."

        I sigh, and take it off. She shoves it in her bag, "Yeah, I just really like that one. It's black and white plaid, {BFF/N}. How can I resist?" She nods, and we continue our walk. We finally see a person and pause. I look to {BFF/N}, and I can tell shes worried.

        Because with the person, comes a building. A very,  _very, **familiar**_  building.

        The  _Phantomhive Manor_ , to be precise, and next to it, doing gardening things, Finnian.

        "Oh crap."

* * *

        "So, let me get this straight. You come up to my Manor, wearing clothes that look like _that_ , and you expect me to be calm?" Tiny Bratface Child says, not very calmly, while {BFF/N} hides behind me in his office.

        "No... well, I was _actually_ hoping you'd be a tad nicer about our clothing, considering the fact that we walked out of the woods not knowing where we were or even what year it was, but your reaction is understandable, Mr. Phantomhive." I say, trying my hardest not to call him 'Ciel'.

        "And that's another thing, how did you know Sebastian's name?"

        "It was a guess, he looked like someone I know who's name is Sebastian." {BFF/N loosens a tad - though barely noticeable - and I have to remind myself not to laugh at the not-lie.

        Ciel 'Bratface' Phantomhive takes a sip of his tea and calms down. Somehow, considering Earl Grey tea is _absolutely_  disgusting. {BFF/N} speaks up, and like the angel she is, does her part wonderfully. "U-um, if I may, we really need a- place to stay. We'll do anything! And from the state of your kitchen... yeah."

        {BFF/N} brings up a bad memory for all of us and even I have to flinch. We were lucky enough to see that in person. I don't think the scene needs explaining. I touch my right ear, remembering the pain. ' _Explosives are loud._ ' I observe silently. I speak up, "I do have one request though, I wish that we have Saturdays off."

        Ciel turns his attention back to me. ' _Yes, lose interest in her, muahahahahahahahahah... ... I need a therapist._ '

        "Saturdays, do you not wish for Sundays off?" Ah, right.

        "Yeah, um, we aren't very religious..."  Haha, yeah, between my bad experiences with christians and {BFF/N}'s parents forcing it on to her... yeah, we're not very religious. Well, sometimes I am.

        "Interesting... Sebastian, show them to their rooms and get them settled in. I'm tired of this." 

        "Yes, my lord." 

        Whoops, my heart left... I am so definitely trash for this show. Then I remember a previous statement of mine, and decide to finish the meme in the hallway.

        "Why do we even have that button?" 


	3. The One Where Too- Inno Makes A Cake And Too-Smart Eats All The Batter Before It Ever Comes Into Fruition

        A couple of weeks and several attempts to contact our friends later, me and {BFF/N} we're sitting in the library, having a nice after-work chat. 

        "So, HB is giving you a harder time than normal, huh?" inquires {BFF/N}.

        "Yeah. Something about 'you seem more competent than the others,' also meaning 'yo ur becoming a threat now so I must make things difficult.'" I respond, attempting to read my book, despite the fact that I've been on the page for at least twenty minutes and I have not had anything stick.

        "Ha, I'm not considered a threat." {BFF/N} does a little dance and I point at her and say, "That. That is why you're not considered a threat. Stop being adorable. You're like a Temmie I freaking swear."

        "Temmie Flakes!" {BFF/N} screams right as Sebastian walks in. We have a small staring contest featuring overwhelming regret, and Sebastian clears his throat. "I came in to make you aware that we'll be having a guest on Monday. I want you to behave your best." He then promptly absconds from our presence. Fair enough.

        "So anyways, first episode?"  
        "Oh most definitely."

* * *

        Saturday rolled around and this time around we decided to go out. Me and {BFF/N} don't share a room, instead she shares one with Mey-Rin and I am in the room next door. We fought for a bit at first but then she listened to me because I got frustrated. So we get properly dressed, {BFF/N} had problems, as usual, and I put her hair in a braided bun and mine just in a regular bun because I can't braid my hair.

        After walking around exploring for a while, not talking to anyone because we still haven't stopped the modern speak thing entirely yet, I get a feelingy feeling, the kind of feeling you get when you're near something important. I stop {BFF/N}, and turn around. I make a few turns, and for a while walk around in the land of nothing until we come across a cemetery. 

        "Hmmm." I hum to myself.

        "What is it, why are we here?" {BFF/N} questions, knowing that something's up.

        "Not sure, to be honest." We enter, and I speed up the pace the farther along the rows I get, until I stop in front of three lone gravestones, sitting quite a few aisles away from all the rest. Everything looks fresh, the gravestones are even new, but, they seem... old. Like they've been sitting there a while.

        "Huh, they're all a year apart in age." {BFF/N} points out.

        "Wow, you did math for once, and of your own free will! Who even _are_  you anymore, {BFF/N} Michelle* {BFF/L/N}?" I retorted dramatically.

        "Shush it, you."  
        "Nah bruh."

        "{Y/N}, we are BFFs for life but I am  _so_  sick of your bull right now." She states, crossing her arms then turning away.

        "What bull, I don't own any bulls." I joke. She raises her hands in an 'I surrender and am done with you,' way, and promptly makes her way back to the town, me trailing along. Moment lost.

        While in town, I notice a very... peculiar yellow-eyed demon man. Huh. Being the nosy nose I am, I decide ' _Wouldn't it be fun to follow him for a while?_ ' And we do, because {BFF/N} follows me everywhere. That takes up most of our trip, following the ball of hatred I hate with an equal amount of hate. I  _ssoooo_  wanted to sneak up to him and say, "I know how, when, where, why, and who from which you  _ **die**_." But then decide that's a bad idea.

* * *

        Once we had woken up and prepared for Mr. Damiano, we head out of our rooms, coincidentally at the same time. 

        While we were standing with the rest of the servants, I see Ciel pick up his dart and aim it. "Finny! Care- ful..." I say a little too late. 

        "Huh- ooW OWOWOWOWOWOW! Ow! What was that for, master?" Finny asks in a hurt tone, having made his way over to the table. {BFF/N} looked ready to pounce, so I put my arm in front of her. "What'd I do?"

        "Nothing, I don't need to justify my actions, especially when {Y/N} had warned you, if a tad late." I bite my lip and look to the side, knowing I should have said it faster. Now I feel a little hurt too. Suddenly, Sebastian.

        "There you are. Have you finished weeding the courtyard Finny?"

        "Uh." Finny barely gets out that much when-

        "Mey-Rin, have you washed all the beddings?"

        "Oh, uh, well..." She touches her fingers together in an ashamed and guilty child-like manner.

        "Baldroy, have you prepared for tonight's dinner?"

        "Oh, ngh." He shamefully looks to the side.

        "{Y/N}, have you folded the laundry?"

        "Yes, actually." I say smiling, happy I managed to  _do_  something for once. He simply nods, merely content that I even gave a comprehensible answer.

        "{BFF/N}, have  _you_  at least done  _your_  job?" Sebastian states, still exasperated, although I'm sure it would have been increased had I not done mine as well.

        "Well... kind of." She sucks in her cheeks in shame. He just sighs and shakes his head.

        "Tanaka, well, I suppose you're alright as you are." I'm 99% sure Tanaka  _knows_  man. I'm pretty sure  _he_  knows things  _Yano Toboso herself_  doesn't know. Also he's super chill. I can respect a super chill person. Or cat. Mostly chill cats.

        "Ho ho ho..."

        "Now, all of you, we have no time for thumb-twiddling this morning, sO GET TO WORK!" He yells at us, and we pretty much scatter. I hear Mey-Rin scream, "Yes sir!" Though I'm too busy moving on to my next task to truly register it.

        I text {BFF/N} after we've gotten to our places, we managed to hide our phones in our dresses, and type exasperatedly, **"C'mon {BFF/N/N}, you were supposed to be on my side!"**

        **"Yeh, I know, but they were eating! Why didn't you join us? UnU"**

         **"Wasn't hungry. :/"**

**"Wha?? But you're _always_  hungry! It makes you, you! :?"**

**"I KNOW, but I just, wasn't. It's probably what made you so hungry in the first place."**

**"Yeh, it's weird."**

**"HB EM."**  You and {BFF/N} made code names for all of the characters, HB meaning 'Hellspawn Butler' EM meant 'emergency.' Which meant he was approaching. 

        "Ah, there you are, I was looking for you. There's a situation and it would truly be a help if you'd lend a hand." Which I knew actually meant, 'yo u gotta clean a mess u din't make now.' It's all about code words, intonations, and personalities man.

I sigh and ask, though I know the answer, "What has happened now?" 

        "Mey-Rin has destroyed most of the china, Baldroy has burnt the meat for dinner, and Finnian ruined the garden with weed killer. You will be helping Mey-Rin, as I am helping Baldroy and {BFF/N} is helping Finnian." 

        "You do realise it would save you time and breath to say 'you and Mey are in lesbians now, go help her,' right?" I inquire with a deadpan expression.

        "'In lesbians'? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the term." He questions naively, as I sigh. 

        "Nevermind, but wait, before I go, are you setting up {BFF/N} and Finnian? Gotta know because I'm her parents, he's gotta ask for her hand. Yes, I'm both of them. I'm her mother and her father." I leave knowing I stumped  _the_  Sebastian Michaelis. It is the most  _satisfying_  feeling I have ever felt.

        Things go well, I pour the wine instead of Mey-Rin, mess up on purpose to let Sebastian show off. Hellspawn Butler? More like Hellspawn Mettaton. 

        Then me and {BFF/N} hang out for a while, chatting while 'dusting the library' together, though, to be fair, it isn't very dusty usually anyways. "Can't believe Sherlock Holmes doesn't exist yet."

        "Wait, what?"

        "Yeah, we'll actually meet the author, and like, inspire him to write those eventually."

        "... does he die too?" 

        "Well, I mean eventually, we all die," {BFF/N} remembers my realistically thinking mind and both regrets asking, and kind of agrees because it's a true statement, and she can't bash the truth, "however, HB and TBC will have no  _direct_  part in his demise. They'll only affect the existence of Sherlock Holmes."

        "... whY AREN'T YOU TELLING ME THE WHOLE STORY? WHO dIEs????"

        "Nobody." I look her directly in the eyes, which is actually my lying trigger but SHHHHH don't tell her that. WHo am I kidding if she didn't know that, she knows now, haha.

        "MMMMMMMmmmmm okay, I guess."

        "Mama Mia!" Oh hey, that dude exists.

        "Good, no more  _mario_  games. Christ, the horse has been beat so much, it no longer exists." {BFF/N} loosens and gives an amused huff. ' _Nah brah, not enough._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHI- LOOKIE! I UPDATED ON THE DAY I UPDATE ON THE OTHER SITE, FOR ONCE! :O Anyways, nothin big yet.


	4. Chapter Four - The One Where Tiny Bratface Child Is Kidnapped and Nothing Can Be Done By Our Protagonists So Nothing Is Done, As Per Usual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lol, I totally forgot to update this one with the qoutev version, sorry~~~~!!!!

        When I wake up, the first thing I do after getting dressed is steal six forks and six knives, and then shove them in my hoarding hole. I got most of the way without being seen, however, "MS. HOARDY HOARD, WHAT ARE YOU HOARDING THIS TIME." {BFF/N} yells across a hallway. Better than the alternative 'Bassy,' I suppose. 

        "It's episode two, so I'm hoarding silverware."  
        "Won't he need those then?" 

        "{BFF/N}, he's a  _demon_. He has powers. He can use those."

        "Yeahhhh... I guess."

        We chase around mice for a little while, but Sebastian pulls a sick move and catches all of them in one swift movement. I sigh, and I am severely disappointed. ' _Okay_ , _so what happens next?'_ shadowing Sebastian, I think about where in most fanfics this is. ' _So usually, this is the part where the reader forgets that Vanel... kidnaps... CIELOHCRAP.'_  Sighing, I turn around and realise that there's nothing I can do but help out the servants. I leave Sebastian to do his Sebastian-ing and I head towards the room where Madame Red, Lau, and the  _mystical_  Grell still resides. 

        Stepping in for a moment, I quietly observe the conversation. One of my better abilities,  _making myself invisible_ , or as my dad always called it 'ninja-ing.' I don't  _actually_  go invisible, but it's useful for moments like these. The conversation having calmed down since Ciel left, I was only really here because there was nothing to do elsewhere. {BFF/N} had watched this episode, so I trust she knows where not to stand.

        ' _She's her own person,_ ' I chant internally. It's become a thing I do when I realise I might be over-doting. 

        "And you there, what do you think?" Madame Red addresses me, crap, I was noticed by my not-so-senpai, well, technically... you know what, pondering for another day.

        "I'm sorry Madame, what was it again?" I question, biting the inside of my cheeks so the blood shows inside, not outside.

        "What do you think about that butler, Sebastian? I figure you may have a slight more insight seeing as you work with him." She added on the last part, as if it were some justification as to why she was asking me in the first place.

        "He's very capable, and he seems nice enough. But my mother always told me to look out for the cute ones," I add that last line amusedly, because mom  _had_  told me that, "I doubt though, that he means any harm to the young lord." ' _Yet_.' I add in, internally. She hums and continues her conversation with Lau, when there's a large crash.

        I sigh, and then rush out of the room with the others. When we arrive at the fabled Hallway of Water Vases and Broken Windows, Madame Red,  _understandably_ interrogates, "What is going on here?"

        "Sorry for the noise my lady. I assure you nothing is wrong. Please don't concern yourself." Yeah, nothing. I look at the bullet hole and broken vase.  _Nothing_. I glance at the broken window.  _ **NOTHING**_.

        "Humph, nothing, are you sure?" Other than murdering prostitutes, Madame Red is my spirit animal.

        After everyone's dismissed except for us servants, "Everyone, I have business to attend to. Would you mind cleaning this up?" Yes, leave Sebby-chan, and murder like, at least fifty dudes.

        "Um. So, when you say clean uh... that means we can eat it, right? ...Sebastian?" Baldroy, you made a valiant effort.

* * *

        While Sebastian was murdering people, the others were debating things. "Oh dear, we need Sebastian here... Where did he go now?"

        "Probably murdering peeps, haha." Everyone stares at me strangely, and {BFF/N} just facepalms. "Oh, sorry, forgot not everyone appreciates dark humour, haha."

        "Anyways, I don't care where he is right now or what he's doin'. This is all I'm worried about. Does "clean it up" mean we can eat the pie or not?! I have to knooow!" Baldroy whines. 

        "I'm sure just one bite each would be okay." Finnian reasons  ~~adorably~~  politely.

        "No, Finny! You know how Sebastian is! If we eat something we're not supposed to, he'll bake us into his next pie!"

        "You need to calm yourself down, Baldroy. A soothing drink might help. Here, give this a try!" Mey-rin pulls out some  ~~MTT Brand~~  milk.

        "Milk... not that it's gonna help me." I nod, "He is very strong already, Mey-rin," I shrug, throwing in my two cents.

        "Milk is an important part of your diet! It'll help you grow strong bones, yes it will!" Mey insists some more. I continue listening as I start cooking dinner. Sebastian had already prepped, thank god. {BFF/N} seems torn between helping me and listening in, so she just watches both parties.

* * *

        After much more debate, Baldroy has had enough. "That's it! I'm goin' to eat it! Mey-Rin, tea! Finny, go get the silver!"

        Mey-rin and Finnian then do the things, however- "It should be right in here. What the?"

        "Is somethin' wrong?" Balroy asks.

        "I don't understand. The silver supposed to be here, but I don't see a single knife or fork!" 

        I sigh. Taking out the silverware I stashed, "Here you go, you guys. Honestly," I shake my head but smile in a way I assume is motherly. I then turn back and end up doing Baldroy's job. Not that I mind, he's had a tough life. If he wants to eat some pie, then damn it, let him eat some pie. 

* * *

        I finish just about everything, when the servants all call out that Sebastian and Ciel are back. I follow them outside, "Master, welcome home, sir!" Finnian said, rather loudly. I stood back a tad as to not crowd the young boy.

        "Oh, dear!" Mey-rin exclaimed, looking Ciel up and down, worriedly.

        "Master Ciel, you're injured!" Finnian observed, also worried. ' _Oh, please, he's a tad beat up_.'

        "I just tripped and fell. It's nothing to worry about it. What, you don't believe what your master tells you?" Ciel rolls his eyes. ' _Not what happened, but yeah, basically. He's gonna be fine. Maybe a little bruised,_ ' I shrugged, an rolled my eyes a little. "Oh no, we do," Mey-rin starts, here it comes. I restrain myself from giggling, "It's just... you look so cute, being held like a baby and all..." Ah, thank you Finnian.

        "Put. Me. Down!" Sebastian lowers Ciel to the ground gracefully, and Ciel yells, "Stop looking at me like that, honestly!"

        "Master... I'm so terribly sorry," we all turn to Sebastian to see what he's on about, "I've committed a blunder unacceptable for a Phantomhive butler," I sigh, done with this demon man, though the others have not caught on yet, "How could I ever atone...? I hang my head in shame."

        "Dinner is not ready." Sebastian  _does_  look like he's truly upset by it though.

        "Hey, Mr. Michaelis," I start, and he looks up at me, "don't trouble yourself too much. I took care of dinner, as I realised you would be compromised for the evening." I mumble, "You should just be glad it was a recipe I recognised."

        "I see. {Y/N}, you truly are a Phantomhive servant worth her salt." I shrug, but accept the compliment, a tad giddy.  _Sebastian Michaelis_  complimented me! Who wouldn't feel giddy? Hope he overlooks the fact that he never told me his last name.

* * *

        "So. You and Sebastian, huh?" I nearly do a spit take, but instead just drown in my tea. {BFF/N} rolls her eyes at my antics. 

        "I, for one,  _love_  almost dying." I mumble sarcastically.

        "Haha,  _anyways_ , you knew the recipe?"

        "Actually, it more of, popped into my head."

        "What?"

        "I looked at all of the ingredients, and somehow while I was, I figured out how to cook it. So that's a thing."

        "Huh." {BFF/N} stands up and stretches. "Well, I'm going to bed. See you, eventually."

        "Mhm." I respond, picking up my book and reading it some more. I read for a few minutes and then decide that hey,  _I'm bored_.

        ' _Well, I can give you something to do_.'

        ' _What_.'


	5. Chapter Five - Some Things Happen and Our Favourite Protagonists Kind Of Befriend A Reaper, Probably

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, my chapter title says it all- by the way, friendly reminder that if you want to read it's up-to-date version you can go to qoutev,,, especially those of you who might wish to comment, or something... idk.

So Grell is now a thing, which I both dislike and like at the same time. On one hand, I do actually like the dude/tte, that's a given. I can't find it in my heart to truly dislike anyone, except for the few who I  _do_ dislike, but when I dislike someone, I have my reasons. On the other, however, apparently this is a castle, Ciel is the king, and Grell is the  _court jester_. I say this because the  _only_  time he  _isn't messing up_ , is when he thinks nobody is around. Which, is surprisingly often. However, I've just been my usual sneaky self and been following him through the manor. Why?

        He's been here three days now, and he hasn't done the thing yet. I'm waiting for the cue so I can mentally prepare and gather the social strength to deal with Lizzie, yet another character I'm iffy about. Honestly, which of the Kuro characters aren't iffy? 

        Probably none of them. "Aaaaaaa, I'm so sorry!"

        Pain is what I feel as I'm taken down by a surprisingly heavy Grell and what appears to be one of the lesser used China sets. "... it's- it's  fine Grell." I say exhaustedly. 

        "No it's not! I must atone for my sins!" And as he pulls a flathead screwdriver out of some hidden pocket dimension, {BFF/N} hugs him from behind to stop him. A scene that has been a prevalent theme throughout the past few days. I sigh as I start to clean up the mess Grell made. I double check all my body parts as I clean, because that was a particularly painful fall. I mumble under my breath, "because I needed to be more bruised as it was."

        "You two are so kind... though not as kind as Sebastian." Grell said, sniffling. 

        "Yes, Sebastian's kindness could not possibly be outdone." I snarked, though I doubt Grell could tell the difference when not pretending to be the largest moron this side of... Earth, actually. I sigh and return to my job.

* * *

        Grell screams as he comes barreling into the dining room. {BFF/N}, realizing the situation, quickly sneaks over to the other side of the room, where we have discussed she'd hold down the tablecloth. It's only a moment before I find myself drenched in REALLY hot water, and Grell's apologies. I quickly fan myself to cool the water as fast as possible, and Grell reaches for the napkins. {BFF/N} barely holds down the cloth, so little damage, if any, was done. It doesn't make Grell feel any better though, our endgame was to make him feel better, but he still freaks out.

        I space out for a moment, reflecting on how I got here, until Grell made his declaration of suicidal... ity? Oh screw it I'm in a fictional world,  _this is a thing now._  "I shall atone with my death!"

        Bard and Mey-rin are the first to respond, with "Whoa, calm down a second!" and "Um, should we take the knife away?" {BFF/N}'s response is to rush over there and hug him tightly, whilst Sebastian offers his 'soothing words.'

        "There is no need for that, just think of the horrible mess you would make; it'd take hours to clean up all of the blood." While I agree that cleaning up all that blood would be a living nightmare,  _Christ man_ , Grell just attempted  _suicide_! ' _Granted, he attempts it quite a lot, and given his... condition, he can't exactly die without being stabbed with a death scythe..._ ' I realize I've spaced out again on a tangent, and Mey-Rin had begun escorting me out of the room. "That tea must have been hotter than we thought, you've been out of it for a while!" Mey-Rin looks at me concerned- oh... I didn't mean to concern her.

        "No! No, the tea wasn't that hot, I've been burned worse-" this raises her eyebrows, but she says nothing "I was just spacing out, thinking about how... Grell," Breathe in, breathe out, "How Grell keeps threatening to kill himself, but it either doesn't work or he ends up not doing it- NOT THAT I WANT HIM TO- but from a psychological, and to an extent, physical, standpoint it's very... interesting?" Not necessarily a lie, but I wouldn't call it the exact truth. I usually think about the psychological processes a man like Grell must go through AFTER 3AM, thank-you-very-much.

        Mey-Rin gives a hum, and responds "You know, when I met you, I didn't think you thought at all! But that was surprisingly deep coming from someone who avoids human interaction and when forced to interact, tell horrible jokes." I scratch my head and give a huff of amusement.        

        "Well, I'm glad  _someone_  knows I have deeper thoughts than what should or should not be dipped into coffee," This time, Mey-Rin gives a laugh "Anyways, thanks for talking with me Mey-Rin! I should go change into cleaner clothes, haha." She nods, and I head off into the direction of my room.

        While I was changing, Sara, the voice I hear at least once a day, speaks up again. ' _So, what's the game plan?_ '

        "I think you mean the SHOW plan." I state out loud, and she goes quiet for a moment. 

        ' _God you're so dumb._ ' I give an amused, yet hurt, huff, and continue with my day.

* * *

         I'm reading a little ways away while the other servants are discussing the manor and all that sweet stuff. I just kind of semi-watch in amusement as Grell realises the mistake he made. Hundreds upon hundreds of bushes, all carved into the shape of skulls. As he made an attempt to hang himself, Lizzie pulled out the ladder from underneath him, causin a, let's say,  _mild_ disturbance. She went on a mini rant on how cute we all were, then pulled us into the mansion, partially to pretty it, partially to pretty us.

        The first thing she did was shove me into a dress with far too many ribbons for my liking, and then went and hunted down the other servants. I sat inside the library reading, occasionally checking for Ciel's carriage. I wasn't really paying too much attention to this episode, as I never really found it interesting. When I see Ciel's carriage approach, I quickly made my way to the others, where I interrupted a conversation about the outfits {BFF/N} actually got an outfit similar to Finnian's. ' _Lol, even Lizzie ships it, haha.'_

I hear the door open and all the servants including {BFF/N} go immediately to help, but I hang back to look at the newest decoration. I knew someone was missing. Grell, hanging like a christmas tree ornament, was on the Cieling. I sighed, then stood on a table to untie him. He dropped to the ground, and he just kind of mumbled "Why are you and {BFF/N} so nice to me?" I knew I had to choose my words carefully, and I knew using the term 'human,' would subtract from anything I said.

        "Well, everyone makes mistakes. And as much as I dislike people, I'd never wish for someone to die if they don't truly deserve it." He looks up to my bent-down form, and I almost feel like I'm talking to a child, and I want to laugh. "Pff, you know, at first, I didn't really like you, but now I think you're growing on me."

        I help him to his feet, and everyone else piles in. Suddenly, it's a comedy again, but I see that whenever he's not admiring Sebastian, he's giving me inquisitive looks, as if he's trying to figure me out. ' _Well Grell, if you figure me out, could you let me know too?_ '

        ' _He can't hear you._ '

        I mumble under my breath so nobody hears, "Shut up, Sara."

* * *

        Grell and Lizzie eventually leave, and so {BFF/N} and I head to my room, dragging in our stuff. {BFF/N} shakes her head and sighs, while I check for signs of Sebastian or another servant. Seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, and tasting nobody, I close the door and she opens her backpack and empties it.

        "I can't believe after all that we forgot to take inventory." {BFF/N} mumbles, exasperated.

        "Eh, we got caught up in excitement, it could've happened to anybody." I reason in return. She looks at me and smiles. I look back and make a face while shrugging. She smiles wider. "OKAY WHAT?" I interrogate loudly, realizing the things and then quieting down. 

        "Nothing, it's just you seem particularly accepting of people in general." She mumbles happily, though I'd never thought those two words would ever go together. But, she proving me wrong, continues, "It's nice to see you be more accepting towards people, especially considering the fact that you don't really like 'humans' all that much."

        "Eh. These people aren't actually people, so they're a bit more bearable," I explain, softening and sitting on the floor to check out the Uno deck, "It's nice to be somewhere where I can predict peoples actions a lot more accurately. I don't have to be as afraid of people as I generally am, as I know these people, even if they don't know me. I've known these people for seven years, and I think I'd know when they're a danger, and when they're not."

        She looks to me thoughtfully, and adds "You're also more vocal and say what you've always wanted to say to people, but couldn't."

        I shrug, and start to shuffle it, "You up for a game of Uno?"

* * *

      I wake up before I open up my eyes, and I feel a liquid on my forehead. When I open them I find that the ceiling is dripping. "I'd be lying if I said that this is the strangest thing I've ever woken up to." 

        Wiping my forehead, I take a look at the strange black liquid adorning my hand, realizing quickly that it's glittery, and purple glitter at that. Purple glitter liquid. Weird. I sigh deeply, and sit up. After taking a look around I conclude that this is, in fact, a dream. I stand up, though my legs don't seem to want to function, and I look around. 

        Inspecting everything, I scan along the walls, feeling for any sort of exit, however, the only thing I discover is that the walls are also the aforementioned liquid. 'Don't get grossed out, don't get- oKAY THIS IS GROSS.' I stand in the middle of the room and shout, "Hello? Is anyone there? I'm kind of lost. It's like those puzzles games on your phone..." my voice slips into a mumble as I ramble about escape room games. I snap back to attention as something forms from a wall, and I take a fair amount of steps back.

        As the creature forms I find it's not a creature at all, but a woman, maybe a few inches taller than me, with deep black hair that graduates into the violet the glitter glistens. Shes wearing glasses, but I can see that her eyes are deep, purple, and tired.

        "Ummmmmm......." I attempt to communicate, but fail miserably. Mostly because I am an awkward dumpster fire wrapped in anime, but she is also very pretty and intimidating. I find myself blushing at the amount of sass she exudes, but find myself speechless and otherwise out of place in this pretty - and gross - environment.

        Sighing, she responds light-heartedly, "We only have about an hour to discuss things, what would you like to ask first?"

        "Who... are you...?"

        "I am Sara, as you have named me, and I am your Guide! Basically I help you, like, not die."

        "For how long?"

        She shrugs, quizzically, "For as long as you travel."

        "Travel...?" I respond almost before she answers.

        "Basically, you have the ability to go through worlds. More specifically, to attempt to fix what many complain about, like plot holes...- or, well really it could be anything. Most of the time, some people are just stuck with 'survive.' Before you ask how to get out, or if you can stop it or whatever, listen. You can give up at any time-. You may leave the world, but there are conditions first,-. Also I'm tired of giving exposition already, so let's talk about how you can contact me."

        "Wait, why couldn't we have had this discussion earlier?"

        "In this particular world, you must pay attention."

        "Uhhhhhhh......?" She released a large amount of information at once, and I can't process it fast enough before she's moved on.

        "You already know how to have conversations with me, so let's move on to if I must exist in a corporeal shape..." I have long since spaced out, you know, being in a dream and all. It's when I'm spaced out that I noticed a shape is forming in the walls. A large humanoid figure steps out, and before long different limbs and another head protrudes from it. I always thought that 'so horrifying and disgusting so can't look away' was cliche and unrealistic, but...

        "{Y/N}?" The woman looks concerned, and I point behind her. She turns around, and her eyes go from concerned to disinterested. "Don't mind that, that's just a representation of how many people you believe you hurt." See looks to the side darkly, and I notice the atmosphere has darkened considerably, as if her words were the very things that shaped this world.

        "Wh-who is, wa," I ramble for a minute, my words indistinguishable, before I gather them again, "who a re they?"

        "Good question,  _who are they_?" Sara turns to me darkly.

* * *

        I breathe in sharply, quickly finding a lighter from home I had stashed in my bag, and lighting a candle nearby. I pull out a journal - also from home - and open the cover, reading the inside. 

        " _Happy Birthday {Y/N}, my girl!_

_I know you wanted a 'proper' dream journal, but I figured that you'd enjoy this one just as much!~_

_Your mother would have been very proud-_ "

        I stopped reading, and turned to a fresh page, ignoring the blurriness, as one does. I write down the assumed date, and the approximate time, and then proceed with my dream. By the time I'm done, I look over it, and then close the journal. As I put it back into it's spot, I look at the clock for the first time, and realise I've spent all of the night writing. I sigh, and whisper to my self as I pull my hair into a quick ponytail, "At least I can tell {BFF/N} what's going on, to an extent." Despite the comfort of having some of the information, I can't help but feeling like pieces are missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Finally, I've got this done! Not entirely happy with it, but there's only so much one can do, ahah. The point is, my story is shining through (finally amiright) so I can start doing ~fun things~ instead of the typical stuff. And by fun I mean fun, which includes teen shenanigans! :D And like, actual, teen shenanigans. Rivals, friends, best friends, the fun stuff. ANd some... unfun stuff, but pfft! That can wait! Also, sorry it's so,,,,, late. Been having some unfun times myself, so, well yeah.


	6. Chapter Six - {BBF/N}'s Never Hurt A Soul She Must Be So Scared

        I sigh as I immediately run into {BFF/N} after exiting my room. I was hoping we would at least meet at breakfast, but I suppose this works. She gets next to me and whispers into my ear, "First of all, you're lucky it's Saturday, and second of all, Mey-Rin Ciel and Sebastian are leaving for London today, I think it's time for Gradame." A few things go through my head, mainly, ' _Really {BFF/N}, GRADAME is the best you could come up with?'_  and ' _Time to ask Ciel if we may join them, I guess._ ' I nod to her and whisper back "Start packing," then I race down the hallway.

        "Why did we agree that I would always be the one to talk to Ciel?" I inquire to myself, mostly to amuse myself. I take a rest at the stairs for a moment to rest myself. ' _Come to think of it, aren't there three stories? Where're the other stairs?'_

 _'Wait no, there're four stories._ '

        ' _There are, how did we miss that??_ '

        ' _Not to alarm you, but now you're thinking to yourself._ ' Sara pipes up, questioning my existence while simultaneously sassing me. 

        ' _Don't worry, I'm not alarmed._ '

        ' _Then perhaps you should be..._ '

        I roll my eyes to myself, and then continue on, and when I finally get there, I sigh. Partially because I'm tired, but also it's just what I do when I can't think of any other action to perform. It takes a moment for me to collect myself, but when I do, I knock.

        "Come in?"

        I breathe deeply and enter as quietly, yet as quickly as I can. 

        "Oh, {Y/N}, what do you need?"

        "My lord, I have heard that you are going into London-"

        "-That's correct,-"

        "-And I was wondering if {BFF/N} and I may have the pleasure of joining you?"

        He glances up from his papers in surprise, and then thinks about it for a few seconds, "I suppose you may, however, we are leaving in a little under an hour, will you have your bags packed by then?"

        "Yes, my lord, I believe I will." He nods in response, and I excuse myself. Once I'm out of earshot from the doorway, I begin sprinting. When I make it to the bottom of the staircase, I jump over the rail and head towards the rooms.

        I get to my room and enter, and our bags are packed and ready to go. {BFF/N} is laying on my bed, playing on her phone. She hears me enter, and sits up, quickly setting her phone to the side. "Y'know, not that I necessarily am upset about the unpacking process but, please tell me we're going?"

        "We are. You got the journals?"

        "All four of them."

        "Why did we need four again?"

        "Let's be real, {Y/N}. One's a sketchbook."

        I shy away after that, and we discuss what we're gonna be doing for a while before meeting Ciel in the foyer.

* * *

        "I hate this. There are too many people in London." Ciel laments in contempt.

        "There is no helping it, my lord, it's tradition for the nobility to migrate en masse to town from the country every season." Sebastian replies, not at all making Ciel feel any better.

        "It's all a waste of time, if you ask me."

        "Getting away from the manor could prove a nice change of pace. It's a break from those four, at least... We can enjoy a little peace and quiet for a time." Sebastian's eyes dart outside, and I can tell part of him is concerned about the manor's wellbeing. The carriage stops, and Sebastian ushers us all out, as I contribute a few words of my own, "May I second that motion?" At which, {BFF/N} lowers her gaze semi-guiltily, but proceeds to nod in agreement.

        "Mm, some peace and quiet does sound nice-" Sebastian opens up the door to Ciel's office, when they discover that Madame Red and Lau have compromised the area.

        From outside the room, I can hear Madame Red "Goodness's sake! Where do they keep the tea in this house?"

       I simply walk past it all to find our rooms, so we can set up camp.

* * *

        {BFF/N} and I are playing uno with a deck of cards in the background as they talk about Ciel's sudden appearance.

        "He struck again, another prostitute was found gruesomely murdered in Whitechapel. These killings are far from normal. The level of violence we're seeing is unprecedented." Ciel explains as Sebastian steps forward. 

        "The most recent victim was a woman named Mary Ann Nichols. It appears a special type of blade was used on her. She was torn up beyond recognition." He feigns pity, and sighs.

        "The murderer's distinctive style of killing has earned him a unique nickname from the press: "Jack the Ripper." Ciel states in an intense manner. I find it ironic how Madame Red is participating in a conversation about herself.

        "A frightening name, eh?" Lau contributes, not totally interested in the conversation.

        "That's why I'm here earlier than expected. I hurried into town to look into the situation for myself." Ciel explains. ' _I thought it was the time of year for people to be here though. So, he didn't really need to explain that..._ '

        "But are you sure you'll be brave enough to stomach the crime scene?" Lau interrogates lightly, probably to push Ciel's buttons. {BFF/N} goes white, but continues to play the game.

        "What do you mean by that?" Ciel feels undermined, like he's a child who needs to be sheltered. Y'know, like he is.

        "The sight of the dismembered body will certainly be horrific," Lau adds, in an attempt to calm His Majesty, "and one can only imagine the stench. Blood and gore everywhere," {BFF/N} looks nauseated, so I lean over to cover her ears. I know it won't do much, but it's a good moral support, and she looks at me gratefully, "surely it would more than enough to drive some men mad." Lau finishes the explanation, walking over to face Ciel up close, then questions one last time, "Are you prepared to see such a thing?"

        I see a flash of determination in his eyes. He truly doesn't care about anything. I frown a slight bit, but finally release {BFF/N}'s face. I tilt my head in concern, and she nods then looks at the artwork on the wall, hand on her neck. I sigh, and get to shuffling the cards. "I am the head of the Phantomhives in service to my Queen. Don't ask foolish questions."

        "You're right. So sorry."

* * *

        We hang back as Ciel and Sebastian talk to Abberline. Grell approaches {BFF/N} with a pitying look. "Were you okay, back in the room? You seemed a little..." he pauses to find the right word, "...sick."

        {BFF/N} obliges and answers softly, "Ah... I don't like to hear about, um... parts." She looks at me with 'help' just,  _written_  on her face, so I step in. 

        "She dislikes gore to an extreme level. Don't mind it any," I pause, thinking carefully, "she's a smol child."

        She glares at me, "I'm not a child, we're the same age!"

        I smirk back, "Actually, we aren't right now." At which, she jumps on me, bringing us both to the ground. The background characters don't move. I give an amused huff, and get up after she gets off. Grell looks surprised, but Madame and Lau are only amused.

        "You two are very close, aren't you..." Madame thinks for a moment, "are you two sisters?"

        "Yes." Sebastian, overhearing, quickly turns his head our way in a concerned manner. We make eye contact. I smirk, he looks genuinely scared. I wink.

        "Oh, my lord, how did it go?" Lau brings attention to Ciel.

        "Not very well, now we go see someone who may  _actually_ prove useful." Ciel sounds frustrated.

        "My lord! You mean..."  Ciel nods grimly, and me and {BFF/N} make eye contact.

        "Yes, indeed. "

* * *

        "So, where are we again?" Lau asks as we stand in front of Undertaker's.

        "You don't know?! Then what was all that about?!" Madame shouts at Lau. {BFF/N} just shakes her head, and we all enter the building. As Sebastian explains, "It's a funeral parlor run by an acquaintance of my lord's." Enter member no. 2 of the concerned parents club.

         Of  _course_  it was dark, and I grabbed {BFF/N}'s hand to lead her slightly away from the crowd. Undertaker pops out the coffin, scaring the others, but let's be real here, I've watched this scene so many times, it doesn't really bother me much. "-My lord, it's so lovely to see you. Do I finally have the pleasure of fitting you for one of me coffins today?"

        "No, that isn't I am here... I wanted to--" I snap back to attention, focusing on the scene at hand. I hear footsteps from a different part of the parlor, and I frown. "No need to say, I'm already aware. Very well aware."

        Something isn't right. "One of my recent customers was a bit unusual, shall we say." I feel off. ' _I should leave- I should leavE I NEED TO-_ ' "Oh, it's you." I look up to the voice addressing me, and see {E/B/N}. I can't think, I can barely breathe. {BFF/N} rubs my back, knowing her arm is hidden enough in the shadows. A single thought rings through my head, ' _"Get the **FUCK**  out of my life." An angered {E/B/N}, a rainy day. A bad memory._'

        I muster up what little will I have in his presence, "Oh, yeah, hi." I realise that in my internal panic, the other conversation had continued. Regardless, I feel eyes on me. I look up, {E/B/N} is staring at me in contempt. I check my peripherals, {BFF/N} is glaring back at him. I gaze to the crowd, and lock eyes with Grell. I take a peek at Undertaker, and notice that while he's not facing me, I'm in  _his_  peripherals. ' _{E/B/N} can't do anything. There're two victims in the room, and they're **watching**. He's powerless in this situation as far as insults go._ '

        Before I know it, we're all being shoved outside, and everything runs smoothly after that. The feeling leaves as quickly as it arrives, and I'm relatively free. The signs falls, and I just sigh at the building's poor stability.

        When we've all been sat down and handed out tea, Undertaker explains the situation. "An interesting pattern I'm seeing these days. I often get customers who are... incomplete." Undertaker says rather quietly.

        "Incomplete?"

        "Yes... the uterus is missing, which is quite odd. The killer makes a big mess of the body, but that particular part is always precisely excised." I glance at {BFF/N} and roll my eyes, a silent 'lord- i wiSH.' She hides a smile by sipping the tea, and nods in agreement.

        "He did it on a road that was public, though not high traffic. Wouldn't an amateur have a difficult time carrying out such a complicated procedure quickly enough?" Come to think of it, Sebastian's right, though not in the way he thinks. Why on Earth didn't Madame make it less precise as to throw off her trail? I mean, it's not like she can put the uterus bacK  _IN_ SIDE of her anyhow. Making it a messier procedure would benefit her in so many more ways than making it precise.

        "You're a clever one, butler. That is exactly what I was thinking." Undertaker agrees as he makes his way to Ciel, intending to use the poor boy as a dummy. {BFF/N} sees where it's going and closes her eyes, as I cover her ears, "You see, first he slits her throat with a sharp weapon, then he rips into it right here..." He demonstrates on Ciel, "and takes that precious womanly part."

        ' _'Precious womanly part.'_ '

        ' _Yes._ '

        ' _Alrighty._ '  
        "There will be more slain, I'm certain." Undertaker releases Ciel, thoughtfully. ' _If only he knew that that's not the first time Ciel's going to be compared to a girl today.' "_ Sadistic killers like this one don't stop until someone makes them." Wise words from a wise man, I suppose, "Will you stop him? Can you sniff him out, like a _good_ little guard dog?"

        Ciel, being a generic little piece of doG REFERENCES, replies, "I'm bound by the honor of my family. I will eliminate any threat the Queen asks me to... by any means I find necessary."

        After a small chat after that... impending, statement, we exit the building, where we hear an even  _less_  welcome voice greeting us.

        "Oh, oH! {Y/N}, {BFF/N}! Glad to see you here!" He grabs me by the arm just as we get to the carriage and I yank it back, sounding as offended - and as British, though it sounds more French, somehow - as I can muster and say back darkly, "Who  _are_  you?" {BFF/E/B/N}* looks mortified as he takes a step back. 

        "Y-your name isn't {Y/N}?"

        I frown in response, "No, my name is {Gma/N}."

        "Oh, I apologize you just- look so much like one of my friends. Wait- then the girl behind you  _isn't_  {BFF/N}?"

        {BFF/N} turns around after having been frozen for so long and shakes her head, following my lead, "No, I'm her sister, Linda."

        {BFF/E/B/N} backs away slowly, flustered. "A-h, I see, so sorry. I'll be on my way then."

* * *

        Sebastian shortly after does the thing where he jumps out the window, and Ciel turns to me with a coy smile on his face, "So, {GMA/N}, Linda, how are your days going?" I sigh, and {BFF/N} rolls her eyes. 

        "Our names really are {Y/N} and {BFF/N}, my lord, but you see, to put in in the simplest terms, he was a man that, for our live's sakes, best be avoided."

        "Oh?" Ciel looks slightly concerned, but urges me to continue.

        My gaze darkens, "He has done some... things, to put him out of the favors of many. Some things which, as forgiving and amiable as I am, are unforgivable by m-"

        "He hurt me." {BFF/N} rolls her eyes and rUDELY CUT ME OFF.

        "Oh!" Madame Red exclaims, giving me a knowing look, "I see how it is."

        {BFF/N} sees the angered, eye-of-the-storm look on my face, and whispers, "{Y/N}, don't fight anyone."

        I calm down, and the rest of the ride is meaningless small talk.

* * *

        "{BFF/N}, {Y/N}, take care of the townhouse while we're away." Sebastian leaves us with that, and finally, we're alone.

        {BFF/N} is first to speak, "You okay?"

        "Yes, but no as well. You?"

        "Seeing...  _him_  was certainly a surprise, but yeah."

        "Which  _him_?"  
        "Both."

        "Well, I'm socially exhausted."

        "I figured."  
        "Goodnight, {BFF/N}."

        "Goodnight, {Y/N}."

        I drift off to sleep, thinking about all the times I messed up with {E/B/N}. I could've done so much more.

* * *

        I have no dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That person (your mom) didn't actually contribute i was trying to be a smarta$$ TuT


End file.
